CLUSTERnomics

oh my heart. where have you flee to?

push and shove, but what will that lead to?

the bitter taste lingering in my mouth

negative pathways to distract my life route.

the lonesome thoughts of pain breaking my inspiration

being a bother, my act of social desperation

with those lips, the way you look at me…i have no choice but to resist

beatting down those feelings i never wanted to exist

i’ll let my mind wonder til my thoughts of you become obsolete

til then my heart, i give up and accept my defeat

i haven’t posted much about my dreams. they’ve been too vivid to share with you. the graphics are getting more gruesome, and violent. the colors are getting more vibrant and the situations are too much for me to even handle. it’s bad enough that i’m sharing my corrupt mind…it’s worse if i corrupt yours. i’ll keep your minds at peace for now….<3

there’s too much negative energy. i’ll start sharing again once my jive’s calm. 

i’m hanging by my right wrist. i look around to see nothing but clustered fog. i look up and try to release my hand free from the rope. struggling. i grip the rope with my left hand so the pressure would be off my right hand. it loosens. i let go of the rope and realize i’m free falling. bursts of neon lights and colors. i’m falling through clusters. i blink. 

i’m standing in a middle of a field. dead grass. sky a solid gray. no textures. no clouds. trees are dry and brittle. mountains outlined as if it were drawn in pencil and the artist didn’t care to finish. crazy wind blows my hair around. a hand strokes my hair from behind, then rests on my shoulder. i glance at it. the flesh is gray. old. wrinkled. nails are chipped and yellow. it grips my shoulder hard and jerks me backwards. i take a deep breath. tunnel vision. neon purple lights.

i open my eyes. little dook is sitting in front of me with his tail wagging. i smile in excitement. he prances off. i try to call him to come back but nothing comes out except delayed echoes. i hear water drips. i walk around. gold drips were coming from the endless darkness from up above me. one lands on my face. i feel a hand stroke the drip off. i look at who’s in front of me. a fuzzy face but the male features look familiar. he had no flesh colors. even his clothes were gray. a bunch of hands grab him from behind and slams him to the ground. spotlight. zombies were ripping him apart. gold blood splatters. i could hear the bones breaking. the teeth sinking into his skin and being torn. sound of carnivores. the zombies stood up and froze. i walk towards them and observe their features. lifeless. dead corps. hair looks nappy and brittle, almost like hay. gold blood all over their colorless mouths, necks, clothes, and hands. the spotlight that was shining over us gets brighter. i look up. the spot light falls closer and closer. a glorious lion lands next to the me and the zombies. it was purple and platinum. hints of neon lines outlining the features. i walk closer to it. the lion jumps over me and rips the zombies apart. it stands up on its’ hind legs. the features start to change. the fur falls off. the spine becomes sharp. the paws turn into claws. muscles become more define. feet turns into hooves. it turns around and stares at me. i stare at it as if i were lifeless. a demon. or is it the devil. it picks me up with its’ claws gripping my body tight. i could barely breathe. bass was the tone of its’ voice, “I’LL BRUISE YOUR LIFE” it throws me to the ground. the ground crumbles. free falling. my skin was being ripped off from the clusters. then the flesh under my skin……….tunnel vision. everything turns gray.

i awoke feeling gray and lifeless…..gloom is my ora for today. 

Pitch black. I lit my lighter that I was holding. The smoke from the flame started to get thicker. I observe the smoke. A face appears. Pointy cheekbones. Swirls and dots. Evil eyes. Evil smile. It startled me, so I release the trigger. A rainbow explosion of clouds and clusters. Everything goes black again. A light appears. I’m being dragged by a huge figure. I kicked its’ hand repeatedly so it’ll let go of my ankle. It pulls me off from the ground and stares at me. Its’ head was bigger than my head, neck, and shoulders combined. Big ass underbight. Horns for bottom teeth, so big, it touches its’ nose. Small eyes, but evil as fuck. A cut deep in it’s cheek, you could see raw flesh. I punch it in its’ cut. My fist sinks in. As I force my arm out, the flesh wraps around my arm like living vines. I pull out a knife and slice the skin on its’ face. It roars and releases me. I drop to the ground and took a few steps back. It grows taller, bigger, thicker. Evil clusters surround it, while it looks down upon me. I mouth the words, “What do you want from me?” It gets into my face. Deep, bass was the tone of its’ voice. “Your mind.” The floor under me crumbles. I’m being grabbed while I’m falling. An arm catches my elbow. I look up. Familiar features, but it’s too hazy for me to make out who it is. I try to focus. The light changes. The skin turns to a rotting color. Skin on the mouth half gone. One eye looks healthy, the other damaged. A fucken zombie. He yanks me up. Puts his hands around my neck. I’m being strangeled. I kick him in the chest. It caves in as he falls to the ground. I stare at him while he struggles to breathe. Clusters all around him. I mouth the words, “Who the fuck are you?” He screetches a loud high male pitch sound. Figures appear, surrounding me. It moves in closer. Zombies but with words scraped all over their flesh. Denial. Fake. Piece of shit. Fat fuck. Worthless. Etc….etc…..Clusters fall from above me. Weapons form on me. I cocked each trigger. Flashes. Went to town on those bitches. When I finished, the weapons turned into clusters and vanished. The first zombie was still in the same position. His chest starts to bubble. Clusters rip through his chest. A lion forms. I move in closer and raise out my hand. I stroke the clusters on his mane. The lion stares deep into my eyes…….tunnel vision. Everything turns blue.

I woke up with a smile on my face.

music plays. Born Of Osiris - Follow the Signs. it’s hazy. bursts of colors everywhere. i rub my face. glowing, swirly clouds float in front of me. i follow it as it vanishes. as my vision starts to clear, a figure starts to form. i try to focus to figure out who it is, or what it could be. i observe it a little harder and came to realize it didn’t have a face. the body’s clear as day, but the face is fuzzy. it limps closer to me. when it took a step forward, i took a step back. the skin starts to deteriorate. cuts start to open. clusters start to burst all around me while the rotting figure moves closer. i try to fight. swing and a miss. i swing again and try to hit it in the faceless face, but i had no strength. it grabs me by my forearm. i couldn’t run. couldn’t move. i froze. a bright light shines from behind me. colorful swirls floats around my shoulders and wraps around the figure’s neck. the fuzz forms a face. eyes and lips are dryer than a sun-dried tomato. more missing teeth than a toddler losing its’ baby teeth. skin rotting harder than gain green infection. cuts so deep, you can see the bone. limbs barely hanging on to the cartilage. the swirls wrap around the zombied body tighter and tighter. a loud snap. the neck’s broken. the colorful swirls unwinds. the body melts into the ground. i turn around to face the bright light that was glowing from behind. a figure of a woman. naked. she smiles. no eyes due to her swirly/clustered hair floating all around. covering her (could’ve been) beautiful eyes. i observe her flawless beauty. clusters and clusters and clusters pouring out from all over her. she strokes the air. mushrooms form. she sits on the ground, mushrooms grow from underneath her. she leans against a tree that grew from behind her. i was awed by her beauty as if i wish to have her. i was about to say something, but a mob of zombies rushed her. tearing her apart, limb from limb. eating each flesh that was ripped off from her perfect figure. the swirls start to vanish. zombies turned to stare at me. i look at what was left of the beautiful woman. bones. ripped flesh. violet blood covering the smashed mushrooms. my body starts to heat up. rage runs through my mind. angrier than life. i pull out brass knuckles from my pockets. i smash in the first zombie’s face over and over. it felt like i was getting bit. i turn around and smashes the second zombies head on a corner of a wall, over and over again until the head is creased in. as i started to get jumped by the zombies, flashes kept happening everytime i beat the shit out of them. everything goes dark. i could hear my heavy breathing. when i catch my breath, i could only hear my heartbeat. glowing swirls start to appear and disappear. i followed it. soon the swirls start to surround me. a lion is running towards me from hundreds of miles away. slow motion. sad clusters. tunnel vision. a girl screams…………..everything turns purple.

i finally woke up trying to figure out what it meant…